ten minutes before bed.

April 23, 2012

Quick notes before bed; a post in ten minutes, say, headstart for morning. Sunshine. Sleep in between like a dead man lying with his legs tucked up beneath his chin, returning to- the mother he never knew, perhaps. Maybe she’s claimed him now.

What can you say in ten minutes?

Nonsense. Always nonsense. But also this: it is difficult, it is incredibly difficult to question the existence and the solidity and the rightness of the thing you stand on while you are standing on it. It’s like digging a hole right underneath your feet to try and see if the earth is solid right through, if you’re standing on it, if what you’re standing on is indeed earth and if earth is good for you in any case. Studies have shown. No.

But how else? Stand outside? There is no standing outside; there is no way to be sure that what you’re standing on is indeed stable and safe and true. You have no way to measure. We have been standing on islands of bamboo and rickety flotillas of junkyard scraps all our lives; our world is based on the kingdoms that shake. Our worlds shake, constantly, constantly. Rearrange and drown and fou up again, all at once, salvaged like a dead man’s face in the water. That is all we have ever known. How can we tell whether something is stable to stand on when we’re not standing on something stable in order to measure something else’s stability? It might just be levels of comparative less-ricketishness, but we have no perspective because we are on these islands, we are these islands. How do we find a position of objective perspective when we are always and consistently and always and completely subjective? We are unstable creatures ourselves.

 

not quite the right way to say it. haven’t got the right words for it yet. later. next time. ten minutes is up.

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