quick thoughts on ‘good’ stress: upsides and down

May 8, 2013

Right now, my brain is busy hammering out a pretty consistent low-level red-alert alarm. You’re not at your desk! Why are you on Facebook! Why are you writing a blogpost! You should go back to work as soon as humanly possible! Why are you still talking and eating! Work! Work soon! Work now! Go work now!

I believe people call it good stress, although in my lengthy experience with the beast, stress is never good (or perhaps I’m just terrible at handling it. At the very least, I know that it only takes a little for ‘good’ stress to shoot straight up into ‘ohgodohgodI’mgoingtodieI’mgoingtodie‘ proportions. I haven’t been quite at blind panic-attack levels in a while, though, which is quite nice.

… although lunch today still wasn’t entirely fun, what with the hands-shaking-slightly and the not-being-able-to-sit-still-and-having-to-breathe-really-deeply business, even if I’m pretty sure I worked myself into that state. Food helped. Three jammy pastries and some time talking about other things helped. Also a classmate was very lovely and brought me ubersweet tea and let me talk at him until I unwound enough. And knowing that two of my favourite people in the world know how I take my tea when I’m stressed helped a lot. Also, having encouraging people being encouraging at me was seriously comforting and reminded me a whole lot of- that other time I studied and got seriously stressed and people were incredibly supportive and encouraging.

You guys are wonderful. I’m pretty sure you’re the best thing from my university days).

 

Oooh, I have found an upside to work-related ‘good’ stress: my near-constant low-level murmur of self-consciousness can’t get a thought in edgewise. All my mental and emotional energy is so concentrated on this one thing that I don’t give half a flick about what people think of me. Did I do something stupid? Have I said something stupid? Is everyone going to think I’m a fool because I said/did/ate/read/thought this? Don’t care. Not important. Why are you still here and not working on your essay? Work! Work now! It applies to nearly every situation and it’s deeply refreshing.

Admittedly, I am also much more likely to be rude, terse, selfish, attention-seeking, exhibitionistic and/or insulting in this mental state and simply not have the brainspace to give a thought to anyone else’s discomfort until later.

 

But right now I really don’t care. Back to work!

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