June 13, 2013

one of the best things about studying theology is that you come across (stumble over, dig up or are graciously given) so many unexpected treasures to read. All these articulate, generous truths that resonate right down to your bones, that give you breath and space to breathe it in, unexpectedly.

that’s one of the good things about this year-so-far. the people of God I’ve found myself among are fiercely generous with truth and it is life-giving. I needed to know this stuff. I still need to know it. I feel like I’m endlessly hungry for this. it’s why I have such an affinity and affection for my theology-specific papers. I cautiously enjoy the Bible-mining ones (careful exegetical sentence-archeology with torches strapped to foreheads and pickaxes in hand), I very much like what I’ve seen of the applicatory ones (marketplace Christianity, pastoral care and so on; it’s still theological, but there’s a lot more focus on practical things like fundraising or stages of grief counselling and how to listen) and I certainly appreciate the historical-societal ones (the reformation, contemporary NZ society, Wesley, fundamentalist revivals, storytelling our past), but all the ologies are where I find myself greedy in the way one is greedy for water after a long dry thirst, gulping as much as your body can take at once before you explode because it’s so good.

Seriously. Christology. Pneumatology. Trinitarian theology and ecclesiology and eschatology and anthropology and soteriology; the ologies of awesome. It’s nothing less than who God is and what God does and the way God does it and why; where we fit into this and how was Jesus human and also God and how can God be three people and what does this mean for us if this is so and what are we made for and what is the Body of Christ and what does Trinitarian worship look like and why do we worship and what is it and what is mission in this context and what about a Third Article theology of the church all the way down to what kind of songs do we sing and what should our services look like in the context of Trinitarian relationships and given the mission of God, what are we destined for eventually and what exactly are the gifts of the Holy Spirit in relation to the church and what do we mean by love or salvation or atonement or any of the things we say and it makes my brain explode with its precision and logicalness and centuries of arguments and vastness and complexity and sheer difficulty of subjects but I love it so, I do, I do.

If I can, I’m staying here longer. I’m at least eighty percent decided. I’m not sure how it’ll look, or whether this is actually possible considering my current issues with assignments- but if I can, if I can, I’m staying here for a few more years. I’ve never felt the inside of myself so incredibly thirsty before; it’s been a running theme these past few months, despite- everything, lurgy, everyday complications, generalized despair, the mess that is my head, etcetera. I’m too tired for proper metaphors (solar panels to light, terracotta tiles to water, lungs to air, addicts to addictive substances, black holes to everything) but this is- this is the good stuff. I’ll take all I can while I can get it.


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